


daydreams and nightmares may as well be synonyms

by kuroyukihorror



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dreams, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kaiba Seto Has Issues, Kaiba Seto Needs a Hug, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Pining, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:21:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29574516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuroyukihorror/pseuds/kuroyukihorror
Summary: That was his problem, wasn't it? He'd always been pursuing that one last duel, first for the right to be the King of Games, and now just to see him one more time.OrSeto Kaiba has another sleepless night wishing for what he cannot have. His mind is cruel in more ways than one.
Relationships: Kaiba Seto/Yami Yuugi
Kudos: 12





	daydreams and nightmares may as well be synonyms

Three in the morning. That was about when coffee no longer worked to keep himself awake and he turned to pacing around his computer to keep his eyes from closing. Sleeping meant either dreams or nightmares, and he couldn’t stand either.

Nightmares were awful, but he felt that dreams could be worse. The pure terror of staring down the Egyptian Gods was absolutely nothing compared to seeing the Pharaoh again. It had been two- no, three, it had to be three- years since he'd moved on to the next life, and he hadn't yet really processed it. He had to have been hiding in that stupid puzzle, why would he leave now? No, it was impossible. He'd reassemble it, and he'd face him again, duel him again-

No. He'd admit his feelings. It'd be a grand affair, and Atem would take him in his arms and reciprocate, and… Who was he kidding? Even when he did eventually draw him back out, it was unlikely he'd even feel the same. Besides, he didn't have time for romance. He was still the CEO of KaibaCorp, he couldn't spare the time to have a lover of any sort. He'd just settle for one final duel. It didn't matter who won, really. Although his ego would greatly benefit from a win, he was fine with losing as long as it meant getting to see the Pharaoh just one last time. 

That was his problem, wasn't it? He'd always been pursuing that one last duel, first for the right to be the King of Games, and now just to see him one more time. He just needed one more time, and then he could live with whatever results he got-

"Seto?"

Kaiba whipped his head around so quickly he nearly made himself dizzy. Mokuba was peeking around the doorframe, hair mussed up and eyes half-open.

"You should be asleep." He muttered, finally standing still.

"Your pacing woke me up." Right. Mokuba's room was right under his computer lab. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I'll stop, then. Go back to sleep." He cracked his neck as he slowly came to stand in front of his little brother.

"Seto, you're worrying me…" Mokuba looking up at him like a kicked puppy always got him, so instead he looked elsewhere. "You've been like this for so long, you're working yourself to death!" He reached out and grabbed his hand, watching with sympathy as he flinched before allowing Mokuba to touch him. A holdover from their childhood, Kaiba often refused physical touch. At least he didn't push him off, so he wasn't doing too terribly yet.

"I'm fine. You need to get back to sleep." He mumbled, reaching out and gently patting down his hair.

"You need to sleep, Seto!" The black-haired boy insisted, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him as much as he could. "And I'm not leaving until you do." Kaiba just let out a deep sigh. Mokuba was nothing if not stubborn. Family resemblance, he mused as he ran a hand through his short hair.

"...Alright. But you need to get to bed too. Don't follow my example." His eyes soften in a way that Mokuba often equates to a smile, which makes him grin.

"Okay!" He nodded enthusiastically, heading towards the stairs. Kaiba shuts down his computer and stalks towards the grand staircase that would lead him to his room, silently berating himself for getting caught by Mokuba. He needed to be more mindful of how loud his footsteps were. He knew how to make them silent, but he supposed that after years of Gozaburo being gone, he'd fell out of the habit.

He unlocked his door and entered his room, silently shutting the door behind him. He locked it once, twice, three times before he finally stopped. He's mostly abandoned his old behaviors, but this one had it's claws sunk into him and refused to let go.

No matter. He threw his coat aside and kicked his shoes off before climbing into bed. Usually, he slept completely clothed, so this was a marked improvement, at the very least. 

For a long while, he stared up at the ceiling, a pale blue he'd always liked. The longer he stared, the harder he had to fight to cling to consciousness. It was a losing battle, he knew that, but he didn't want to know what cruel scene his subconscious would cook up for him tonight.

What he wanted didn't matter. It rarely did, in his eyes. He drifted off without even realizing.

"...Kaiba."

That voice… God, he'd never forget it. It'd haunt him, the voice of his rival and the man he held dearest to his heart.

He turned his head to meet eyes with Atem. He was just as he remembered him being. Quite a deal shorter than him, but a confident aura that made the gap feel less than it truly was. He didn't say anything- rather, he couldn't. No matter what his mind was screaming, every word seemed to catch in his throat. Why? He was here, they were here together, now is the time-

"I would've thought you'd have more to say to me." His voice cuts through his thoughts, just as it always has. The boom of it demanded attention, like a true ruler.

"...P-Pharoah." Did he stutter? Way to blow it, Kaiba. The man who your life has revolved around is here, and you can't even speak properly.

"Yes, that's me." He raised an eyebrow in amusement, hand on his hip as he leaned to one side. He was playing with him, which felt awfully mistimed to Kaiba. Not trusting his tongue to express what his brain is thinking, he just takes slow steps forward until the distance between them is a few inches. He swooped in and enveloped him in a hug.

"K-Kaiba!" Atem was taken aback, unsure what to do with his arms as Kaiba buried his face soundlessly into the crook of his neck. Eventually, he returned the hug, rubbing his back gently.

"...I missed you…" He mumbled after a long stretch of silence between them, pulling away just enough to see his face.

"I missed you too, Kaiba. And… There's something I've always wanted to tell you." His arms retract from the hug to cup his face, allowing him to lean in and press their lips together.

Kaiba felt his heart skip at least a few beats. Atem ju- He just- No, his brain couldn't process it. He barely reciprocated, unsure how to even go about doing such a thing, which made Atem laugh.

"You really don't know how to do this? That's alright, I'll teach you." He reassured him, looking up into his eyes. "Seto Kaiba, I lo-"

He shot awake to the sound of his alarm. Six o'clock sharp. He didn't tolerate lateness. He touched his fingers to his lips. It had felt so real, but… Nothing. 

He slammed the alarm clock with his fist, practically throwing himself out of bed as he tried to ignore the hot tears streaking down his face.

He wished it could've been a nightmare


End file.
